Betrayal and Boundaries

If we've lived long enough in this very human world, we've probably experienced betrayals by other people we gave of ourselves to.

Many of us will see ourselves as the victims of circumstances and how it's the other person's fault. At a certain level of consciousness, yes we may be and yes what other people do are reflections of them and not of us.

At higher levels of consciousness, though, we can look at those experiences as mirrors and examine where we have betrayed ourselves in the first place.

Where have we overridden our own instincts, our own convictions, feelings and sense of safety just to give to others and to please others? Usually, if we keep still and listen closely enough, we will find that it is precisely in those areas of our lives where we betrayed ourselves that we also experience the most betrayals by others.

What has helped me over the course of my own continually evolving journey is this picture I have developed in my mind to guide me in engaging with others as I grow in listening to my own spirit in self-honoring and authenticity, by establishing and nurturing healthy boundaries for my energies.

I always begin and end with my inner core, My Sanctuary, which is that space I clear and hold for my self and God. I do this with a daily practice of Stillness and Intentional Solitude, even if it means carving out space and time of as little as 5 minutes every day, checking in with my spirit and God's Spirit. Next would be My Home Space, where my mind, heart and soul feel safe. It includes my children, my beloved, some family members and friends who fit the criterion of safety, whom I call my Soul Tribe. Unfortunately, there can be other family members and even friends who don't fit the criterion, so they belong to the next space, which is my Access with Permission Space. Here would be people I probably daily engage with at work or in my communities, as well as in social media. They do not yet deserve inner access to my deepest thoughts, feelings and inner movements until they have consistently shown by how they treat me my 3 most basic criteria of Respect, Truth and Kindness. The circles in my mental view are fluid; they can expand or contract according to how many more people I allow in or move out.

Although, when I spend more attention to and energies on nurturing My Sanctuary, the My Sanctuary space not only grows stronger but also wider, and which overflows to all the other outer circles of my life.

This view has helped me grow stronger in all ways in my life as I honor my own self and energies more and more. This has also cleared out all the betrayals as well as all other many toxic energies from my space-- spiritually, mentally, emotionally, bodily-- as I learned not to "cast my pearls before swine" anymore. How about you? How does this view of establishing inner and outer circles of healthy boundaries resonate with you? I would appreciate learning from your feedback and experiences, too. I discuss more of this and how to graciously and effectively grant or limit access, as well as other essential #DiosaWays in Diosa 1.0: 8 Essential Goddess Ways to Your Royal Life, coming out next month. I'll let you know once it's released, as I would like Diosa Ways' growing number of subcribers to enjoy it first. May you be Blessed from reading this!